The MIA Chronicles
by Violet Dawson
Summary: What happens when canon loving fans are forced into attending the training center of the MarySue Intelligence Agency? Utter chaos and lots of SueBashing!
1. Jenna and Anna

-The MIA Chronicles-  
  
By: Violet Dawson  
  
Rating: PG, for MarySueism at it's best  
  
Feedback: Yes please! Leave 'em here, or check my profile for various other ways to get a hold of me. (  
  
Spoilers: Nope  
  
Dedication: To Miss Anna who amazes me more every time I talk to her. Things will get better as they can't get much worse. Until then, escape to the MIA and rant to your friend who tries to be a good one.  
  
Author's Notes: This is chapter one of MIA version 2.0 or something like that. It's been up for awhile now and I just wanted to go back through and add some details, pull some things together and the like. I'd ask you to give it a couple chapters before you make your final judgment about the story, as it picks up about chapter 3. Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything already claimed by the estate of J.R.R. Tolkien. Also, I can't really say that I own Anna, Allyce or various other people that you'll meet in the story, as they are either my friends or MIA reviewers. Celeste, Jenna and the MIA itself are mine however, and you must ask before stealing.  
  
  
  
Miss Donavan,  
  
We are pleased to inform you of your recent acceptance to the training center of the MarySue Intelligence Agency (MIA)! We are sure you'll enjoy our world-renowned courses and facilities. And our experienced staff is known for their hospitality as well as their credentials. We know you'll find that MIA is the school for you! Included with this acceptance letter is your first semester course schedule. Please take some time to go over the course options we've selected, and once you reach the agency, any questions or concerns can be directed to our student affairs department (B101). Upon graduation you will have the opportunity to join our esteemed agency of MarySues. The MIA is recognized as the choice for Sues worldwide and we know you'll feel the same! Your ride will arrive in within five days from receipt of this letter. Please make any necessary arrangements to be ready at this time. We look forward to adding you to our student body for Spring Semester 2003!  
  
Yours truly,  
  
Celeste Clearwater  
  
-founder and president of MIA-  
  
  
  
Anna Donavan pushed light brown hair out of her blue eyes and smiled as she scanned over the letter again.  
  
She had a good guess of who'd sent it; Jenna was forever sending her crazy things like this. Still, it made her smile. She made a mental note to thank her friend for the laugh when they met online later.  
  
The girls lived a state and three hours away, but since they'd met last spring they were inseparable whenever they got together, much to the amusement of Anna's aunt, who also happened to be Jenna's neighbor.  
  
That's how they'd met in the first place, a very bored Anna and the brilliant idea of her aunt to hook Anna up with "Jenna the neighbor girl". They'd hit it off splendidly and spent every waking hour of the weekend getting to know each other. Since then long distance had gotten rather expensive and so they'd set up online meetings several times a week.  
  
Anna and Jenna would chat for hours about everything and nothing, but their favorite topics had to do with elves, mazokus and Buck, Jenna's stalker/fanboy.  
  
Both girls' parents marveled at how long they could chat about basically nothing and how bad-tempered either one got if they missed a conversation. Forcing one of the girls to miss their "Anna or Jenna-fix" definitely had its consequences.  
  
Lugging her backpack up the sidewalk to her front door and looking at her watch, Anna smiled; she'd managed to be on time for today's meeting, now it was simply a matter of getting past the family and to the computer.  
  
Dodging parents ("don't you think you spend too much time online?") and physically pulling a sibling ("but Anna, I wanna play computer games!") away from the PC, Anna plopped herself in the computer chair and drummed her fingers on the desk as she waited impatiently for the Internet to connect.  
  
  
  
Now, let's stop the story for a minute and look at the other. Jenna was another topic entirely; an only child who started college at sixteen, a lot of people thought it was genius or maybe a long run on fate's good side, but she knew better, it was all where she'd grown up.  
  
If you'd seen her just a few months before, you'd have never recognized the girl standing in front of you, she was natural now; brown eyes and matching hair that she'd stopped dying right before she met Anna replaced the Barbie look she'd had before. But that's a story for another chapter and really the best way to see who Jenna is, would be to keep reading...  
  
  
  
Jenna slammed her car into park and tried to jump out before she'd unbuckled. This did nothing but return her to the seat making "oof" noises. Trying again, this time remembering to unbuckle first, she escaped and raced for the front door. Raimer had kept her over at college again and now she was late for her meeting with Anna. Obviously he had never seen the ramifications of making her late for her Anna-fix.  
  
She made it up the sidewalk, through the door and into the computer chair in record time, quite an amazing feat for someone who's just lost the battle with a seatbelt.  
  
Being an only child with non-internet obsessed parents did have its advantages, while Anna had to fight siblings for computer time, all Jenna had to do was sit down and enjoy.  
  
She idly picked up a pile of mail that was sitting on the kitchen counter while her computer logged on. Bill...bill...bill...junk mail...you've just won a million dollars...something from college...bill...Jenna stopped as she reached the last envelope in the otherwise dull stack.  
  
It was a perfect shade of baby blue; a symbol with the letters 'MIA' inside graced the front. A similar logo was recreated on a seal on the back. Tiny, perfect printing announced that the contents were for her.  
  
Amazingly enough, it was perfectly flat, not a even crease in the corners, which may not seem odd until you'd seen the job the post office had done on the rest of their mail.  
  
Numbly reaching for a letter opener and carefully sliding it under the seal, Jenna watched detachedly as a packet folded inside another baby blue sheet fall to her lap. Carefully unwrapping the first sheet and letting the rest fall where it would, Jenna began to read...  
  
Miss Williams,  
  
We are pleased to inform you of your recent re-acceptance to the training center of the MarySue Intelligence Agency (MIA)!...  
A/N: So.what do you think? Do you love it, do you hate it, give me opinions and I'll give you chocolate! How's that for shameless bribing? This more then likely doesn't make sense yet, but all shall be revealed in time. Ok, pathetic attempt at being mysterious over.  
  
Until we meet again, Violet Dawson 


	2. ElvenChick and XellyBean

-The MIA Chronicles-  
  
By: Violet Dawson  
  
The shout-outs to my reviews out there in TV land:  
  
Addicated: I'm glad it sounds interesting, hope you stop by again some time!  
  
Ihni: You wish to read more, and I wish to write more. It's a good combination don't you think! :)  
  
Paper Crane: I think it'll be in chapter 4 or 5 that they *finally* get to the MIA, I know it's taking forever but the chapters come fast so that should help. Please keep reading and sending reviews!  
  
Starbrat: Thanks for the review!  
  
  
  
Anna smiled as her computer logged on and she saw that Jenna had only just gotten online too.  
  
That could only mean two things, one that Dr. Raimer, the man who had raised keeping students after class to an art form, had been practicing his craft again, and two, that Jenna would have to rant about it before they could get on to their "serious" conversation.  
  
The pop-up window that soon graced her screen showed her that both assumptions were true.  
  
  
  
ElvenChick: Sorry so late, you'd think the man could let us out of class on time just ONCE! And six more e-mails from Buck! Could this day get any worse!!??  
  
Anna laughed out loud and ignored the strange look her mom gave her. Jenna could be quite the drama queen when she wanted to be, and right now, she wanted to.  
  
XellyBean: Of course it could! Buck could show up on your doorstep!  
  
ElvenChick: Haha, you're so funny when you try! Yes, Buck on the doorstep would be bad, but there's another blond I wouldn't mind showing up...elven eye candy, yummy!  
  
XellyBean: So I take it the rant is over before it ever truly started?  
  
------DigiDestined logged in at 4:58pm------  
  
DigiDestined: Hello! What are we talking about?  
  
ElvenChick: Yes Miss Anna, sorry to deprive you of the joy of reading it. Besides the infamous Raimer Runover and a B on my mid-term it was an ok day...Hey Allyce! We're talking about why it sucks to be Jenna.  
  
XellyBean: Allyce!...Darn, no rant to read. Oh well, glad you had a good day! B? B is good, what's wrong with B?  
  
DigiDestined: She's going *there* again, isn't she Anna?  
  
ElvenChick: um...it's not an A? But I *don't* want to have *this* discussion again, with *either* of you. Just say, "We love you our little perfectionist friend".  
  
DigiDestined: truetrue! brb  
  
XellyBean: you know it JennaSue!  
  
ElvenChick: ::death glare at Anna::  
  
XellyBean: meep! I wuv you?  
  
ElvenChick: Sure ya do! Who else would you chat with every night when you're supposed to be doing homework? Better yet, who else would you mom let you talk to online every night just so she doesn't have to get a part- time job to pay the long distance bill?  
  
XellyBean: um...Buck? J/k, only you Miss Jenna! Btw, thanks for the smile today!  
  
ElvenChick: -- is confused. Smile? What smile? Jenna made Anna smile?  
  
XellyBean: The MIA! LOL! How do you come up with this stuff? Is it while you're *supposed* to be paying attention in Raimer's class?  
  
ElvenChick: MIA? MarySue Intelligence Agency? Please tell me you mean something else, anything else, like maybe Monkeys In Alabama? Or Morbid Indigo Angstwriters?  
  
XellyBean: No dear, MarySue Intelligence Agency. It was hilarious!  
  
ElvenChick: You got a letter from the MarySue Intelligence Agency? Baby blue...logo on the front.....says you've been accepted for spring semester?  
  
XellyBean: That's the one, but congratulations you've successfully killed the joke. ::dull smile::  
  
DigiDestined: back! ::reads what she missed::  
  
ElvenChick: Anna, listen to me, I'm being serious now. Don't leave your house, lock the doors, I'll be there in three hours.  
  
XellyBean: I wish! But there's this thing called school, remember school? We both kinda hafta go.  
  
------ElvenChick logged off at 5:37pm------  
  
DigiDestined: MIA letters? I got one too...Jenna's gone?  
  
XellyBean: Yup, you wanna call her or should I?  
  
DigiDestined: I will, brb.  
  
XellyBean: Thanks much  
  
------ DigiDestined logged off at 5:39pm------  
  
Anna shifted into a more comfortable position in her computer chair, she wasn't getting offline until she got some answers, and Jenna got out of her drama queen mood.  
  
  
  
A/N: hm...has Jenna gone crazy? Will her parents let her drive to Michigan? And why is she so freaked out about a blue sheet of paper anyways? Tune in next time to find out...same bat time, same bat channel! tacky...yes, so what's your point? As always reviews for me mean chocolate for you.  
  
May the Road Rise up to Meet You, Violet Dawson 


	3. Sue 3 and The Hole In The Ozone Layer

-The MIA Chronicles-  
  
By: Violet Dawson  
  
And now, the thanks to all my reviewers out there in TV Land.  
  
GreyLadyBast: You are right, I shall never be evil and hold chapters hostage for reviews. ::brings out more chocolate:: ok? Also, while I would much rather attend OFUM then the community college I currently grace with my presence, I would never, never, never copy it. The last thing I need is Miss. Cam and an army of mini-balrogs after me, not to mention all of the loyal OFUM fans. So I'm going to ask you a favor, please keep reading and if in a couple of chapters you still think it's too OFUM-ish, I'll write Miss. Cam and ask her what she wants me to do. Does this sound like a plan?  
  
Lady Eternal Cosmos Illus: (aka, Miss Anna) Your review had me laughing all day. Seriously now, it is very bad to start cracking up in your interpersonal communications class for no apparent reason. People tend to look at you oddly, oh well, peoples give me odd looks anyways. Would you like me to put Xel in here for ya? I can, in fact I was planning too, but it's nearer then end and for now all I can say is "that is a secret" ::evil grin:: Why is it so much fun to write stories about people that you actually know? I dunno, but it is!!! BTW, everyone here should clap for Anna for her generosity at letting me steal her for this story. ::claps and pokes everyone else until they do as well::  
  
Ihni: Jenna and Anna live three hours away. Jenna in Ohio and Anna in Michigan. Though if they had their way, they'd live three minutes away instead of three hours. Thanks for your continued reviews!  
  
  
  
Jenna shoved the chair away from the computer desk, grabbed the letter and ran around the house trying to find a pen. Managing to bump into the family dog on the way.  
  
The dog, used to Jenna's unpredictable moods, simply walked over to a safer corner and gave her an injured look.  
  
Shuffling through this, that, and the other thing she finally found what she was looking for and scribbled a quick note to her mom on the back of the MIA letter.  
  
  
  
Mom,  
  
Went to rescue Anna from the MarySues.  
  
If blondes come by carrying lightsabers, DON'T OPEN THE DOOR.  
  
Yes, I know this sounds crazy.  
  
No, I'm not trying to get out of Raimer's class.  
  
Love, Jenna  
  
  
  
With that done Jenna grabbed her keys and started out for Michigan.  
  
  
  
Two and a half hours later Jenna had decided that driving was not nearly as fun as she always thought it was.  
  
In fact, there were exactly one hundred and seventy-nine other things she'd rather be doing then driving. Turning the radio up and rolling down the window she forced herself to stay awake, yup, she was definitely taking the Greyhound back to Cleveland. If she made it back to Cleveland, best not to think about that.  
  
And so went the thought process of one very tired 17 year old, it is meant to be confusing, if you understand it you should be very, very afraid.  
  
Looking up at the exit signs, Jenna smiled sleepily, two more miles and she'd be pulling into Anna's driveway.  
  
  
  
Ten minutes later she was doing just that, humming the hallelujah chorus as the door opened and someone stood inside it to greet her.  
  
"Miss Anna! Am I glad to see you!" Jenna yelled, forgetting caution as she stepped out of her car and started up the driveway.  
  
The shadow in the door didn't say anything but waved, and moved to allow her entrance into the house. Jenna finished her walked up to the front door and started babbling; "Anna, I'm so glad you're safe! I need to talk to you about the MIA..."  
  
She was cut off mid-babble as she stepped inside and witnessed what was anything but a welcoming scene.  
  
Two blondes armed with lightsabers sat on the couch with one very peeved and bound Anna between them.  
  
Anna was currently yelling a stream of obscenities that could fill the hole in the ozone layer, but she stopped when she saw her friend standing open- mouthed just inside the door.  
  
"Oh, hello Jenna! If it wouldn't be too much trouble maybe you could explain to me what in the world's going on because I'm awfully confused."  
  
Or at least that's what it translated to, Anna's version made the Sues turn several shades of red.  
  
Jenna, somewhat more used to her friend's ranting picked her mouth up off the ground and calmly replied.  
  
"Um...you remember that letter that you thought I sent you? I didn't...yeah, that's pretty much sums it up."  
  
The third Sue, who was hiding behind Jenna out on the porch came as close as a Sue ever does to snorting.  
  
She shoved Jenna further into the room, and, with MarySue abilities unknown to lesser mortals, soon had her in a similar state as Anna, flung over her shoulders and headed back towards the door. This was amazing enough, but becomes stupendous when you realize that she did it all without dropping her lightsaber.  
  
"Alright ladies," said Sue #3 "let's go, our work here is done."  
  
TBC...  
  
  
  
A/N: Ok, I dunna know why I pictured raiding MarySues to have lightsabers, but it sounded good in my head, so what do you know? It's on the paper! Again, please read and review and I promise another chapter as soon as I get the time and inspiration. I have Thursday and Friday off of college for mid-term break and unless my mom surprises me with permission to drive to Michigan, I'll more then likely have more for you to read before the weekend. All my loyal reviews should be expecting elves on their doorsteps delivering chocolate soon, if you don't get yours, take it up with the elves. 


	4. Neuralizers and Jenna's EarlyMorning Sel...

-The MIA Chronicles-  
  
By: Violet Dawson  
  
A/N: Secret #1 had been revealed Miss Anna!!  
  
And now comes everyone's favorite part, the reviewers notes!  
  
Ihni: Chocolate and elves, combinations just don't come much better then that do they? To answer your question, in Ohio you can get your temporary license at 15 ½, and your full license at 16. So Jenna would have been driving for close to two years.  
  
Pasta Head: Anna reminds me of my best friend too, wait! That's because she is! ( You'll find out all about what the Sues do to them below. Oh yeah, I have an e-mail list to let my reviewers know when there's updates, if you'd like to be on that, just send me your e-mail.  
  
GreyLadyBast: ::whips forehead with hand:: I'm glad it's very un-OFUM/PPC. Wouldn't want the balrogs on me, but then again I wouldn't want Jay and Acacia sp? I'm too lazy to go look it up on me either. I'm glad you're enjoying the story! ::hands you more chocolate to keep you coming back:: Btw, sorry for the "story not found" let's set a mini-balrog on ff.net, shall we?  
  
Dragonlet: Yes, Sues with lightsabers...I don't know why, but don't worry this is definitely not a Starwars cross-over fic. Mostly because I don't know enough about Starwars to write a decent one. ( I invite you to send me your e-mail and join the update list. There will be chocolate in it for ya!  
  
Madeleine541: Glad you're enjoying the story! Hope you have as much fun reading it as I'm having writing it!  
  
Addicted: Very hazardous to peoples health, especially if those people happen to be Anna and Jenna.  
  
Aradi: How I love your hamster on its wheel! Glad we got to chat again...it took awhile but I figured out where I'm taking it! Yeah! Anyways, read on Miss. Lizzie/Aradi/ElfMistress. (ok, now I'm stealing your hamster and I want tickets to LizzieLand!!)  
  
  
  
Jenna woke up with a headache and a sneaking suspicion.  
  
The headache probably had more then a little to do with the Sues knocking out her and Anna as soon as they got to the front yard.  
  
The suspicion came from the fact that she was comfortable, too comfortable for someone who's just been attacked by Sues. And someone was banging on the door; didn't they know it was rude to know to knock when someone had a headache?  
  
Jenna was about to get up and inform whomever it was of this fact, but the door opened first and in walked Sue #3 with an annoying, but perfect, smile on her face.  
  
"Good morning Miss Williams, if you'll follow me please..."  
  
Now there's something you should know about Jenna, she's rather compliant first thing in the morning. Her friends have had great amounts of fun with this fact, but that is a story for another day.  
  
So Jenna, being her compliant early-morning self, stood up and followed Sue #3 out the door.  
  
  
  
Anna, however, did not have a compliant early-morning self.  
  
In fact on this particular morning she woke up and continued working on her patching job of the ozone layer.  
  
Sue #2 opened the door and was soon several more shades of red thanks to Anna's version of "I don't particularly like MarySues."  
  
But being a Sue herself, she quickly regained her composure and started speaking;  
  
"Good morning Miss Donavan, if you'll follow me please..."  
  
Anna replied with something to the extent of "No, I really don't think so."  
  
The Sue sighed, pulled out a Men In Black type neuralizer and pointed it at Anna. Heaving her over her shoulders, the Sue left the room and headed towards Celeste's office.  
  
  
  
Anna groaned, being neuralized was rather painful, and it made you see purple elephants. Lots of purple elephants...dancing purple elephants...dancing purple elephants wearing sombreros.  
  
As the purple elephants faded into the distance a voice broke through her dazed state and suddenly Anna wanted the purple elephants back, they were nice once you go to know them.  
  
"Are you positive? How could we have missed this?"  
  
"We were told to pick up everyone in the house, what else could we have done?"  
  
"Well, I guess we should make the best of things, she did graduate, didn't she?"  
  
"Yes and no...mostly no."  
  
Anna, still a bit on the neuralized side, decided joining the conversation sounded like a pretty good idea. "Excuse me, but would you mind telling me just who you are talking about?"  
  
She slapped a hand over her mouth, she was sure that wasn't what she'd meant to say because what she'd meant to say had a lot more four letter words.  
  
She tried again; "I'm awfully confused, where I am?"  
  
Celeste raised one perfectly arched eyebrow at Sue #2, who nodded and smiled.  
  
Anna tried again; "My words don't seem to be coming out right, though I can't imagine why."  
  
"MarySue rule #67; a good Sue never curses." Celeste said, smirking in a way that didn't look quite right on her perfect face.  
  
"Well it's a good thing I'm not a MarySue then." Anna replied, already sick of perfect, polite English.  
  
"Not yet anyway." Celeste was smirking again, it was still annoying.  
  
She turned away from Anna and back to Sue #2, "what do you mean no?"  
  
Sue #2 took a few steps toward the door before she answered, "well, she never took her final exams...which means she didn't graduate, but I'm sure she could pass them now...I think."  
  
Anna was stunned, never before had she seen an indecisive Sue, had she had her own voice back, she could have had a lot of fun with this.  
  
Celeste paused and cast a tired look towards the door "Bring her in, let's see what a mess she's made of herself."  
  
Sue #2 nodded and opened the door for Sue #3 who was leading a still early- morning compliant Jenna.  
  
Celeste immediately put on her patented AnnoyedSueFace. "Miss Williams, welcome back."  
  
Jenna glared at her; early-morning compliancy was starting to wear off.  
  
Anna looked from Jenna to Celeste and back again, "Jenna dear, is there something you'd like to tell me? Perhaps why you are being welcomed back to a place you've never been before?"  
  
Anna talking like a bad 100-year-old novel did a good job of waking Jenna up the rest of the way.  
  
"Um...no not really...tell me Miss Anna, have you seen any purple elephants lately?"  
  
"Why yes, as a matter of fact I have, they were quite pleasant elephants actually. So back to the question at hand..."  
  
"Hasn't she told you Miss Donavan? Miss Williams here is one exam away from graduation." Celeste interrupted, she was still smirking, and it was still annoying.  
  
Anna glared at Jenna, said something that sounded like "oh" and went over to the corner to talk to her purple elephants.  
  
  
  
A/N: So...what do ya think? Has Jenna turned to the darkside? If so, will Anna join her? And who in the world is Celeste? All this and more will be answered in...::dundundun:: Chapter 5! Coming soon to a computer screen near you! I must give credit where credit it due, the Men In Black idea was all Miss Anna's. She is smart, intelligent and creative and never ceases to amaze me, so ya'll remember to thank her if ya see her. Also, a note to all my loyal reviewers, I've hired some rather well known hobbits to bring you chocolate. Yes, you have to return them to Middle Earth when you're done, I'm sorry... 


	5. Lembas and Chocolate Frosting

-The MIA Chronicles-  
  
By: Violet Dawson  
  
Author's Notes: An apology goes to all my reviewers for the confusion that surrounded chapter 4. I'll be more careful about posting from now on. ( Also, I'd just like to say that never in my life have I heard Anna 'curse up a storm', actually I've never even seen her upset and therefore have to rely on what she's told me she does. She has the patience of Noah and can deal with monkie children better than I can ever even hope to. So in this chapter I hope to introduce you all to something closer to the Anna that I know and love. Anna dear, please tell me how you think I did. I wuv you!  
  
AND NOW...the moment you've all been waiting for...ladies and gentleman, live from television studios in...well, Ohio it's the reviewer's notes! ::dang oh dang was that tacky, oh well!::  
  
GreyLadyBast: Neat is a good word, glad you liked the twist. I was worried what kind of reactions I'd get for it. ::shrugs:: Anyways, thanks for the helpful advice on men in black equipment and miss. You can have a purple elephant AND chocolate, both of which will be sent to you directly. Thanks for your wonderful reviews!!  
  
Starbrat: It is the MarySues who are doomed! ::crazy person laugh::  
  
Madeleine541: thanks for the review!  
  
Ithinkineedanewname: I'm glad you like my story! Let your imagination run wild, I love it!  
  
Ihni: The chocolate is yours to keep, the hobbits, like library books, can be kept three weeks and then returned or you must pay a late fee. Celeste is a mystery yet to be revealed, only the Anna knows, but she's not a baby elephant!  
  
CrumbleViolet: I like my ear and my right foot right where they are thank you. But I'm glad you're enjoying the story and hope you come back to read more!  
  
  
  
"Rule 239A...rule 85B...rule 92D...rule 1,110C..." Celeste had been rambling on for about ten minutes now with an amazingly long list of rules Jenna had managed to break in the last year; everything from breaking a nail to cutting her hair.  
  
Jenna was quite proud of herself actually; she'd never made a Sue turn blue from yelling before.  
  
It was quite an accomplishment when you realize how many songs they can belt out in one sitting. Not that she was really listening mind you, she was having too much fun counting the shades of blue Celeste was turning, eight to be exact, no no wait, nine.  
  
Jenna gave a smirk of her own, it annoyed Celeste. She turned her attention toward the Sue when she realized she was speaking actually words for a change.  
  
"...you can take your final exams in a week Miss Williams, then you'll go out on assignment."  
  
Jenna glared at her, "Assignment? Somehow I just don't think so, I'm leaving now. Come on Anna." Jenna grabbed Anna's hand and started towards the door, but was stopped by Sue's #2 and #3.  
  
Celeste clicked her tongue as the two were effectively turned back towards her.  
  
"You, Miss Williams are restricted to the grounds until further notice.  
  
She then turned toward Anna with a much more pleasant tone; "Welcome to the MIA Miss Donavan, classes start in a week. Until then, please make yourself at home." She gave Anna and sugary-sweet smile and walked back to her desk.  
  
The Sues turned on Jenna and Anna and led them back out the door. Once in the hallway, the two were led in different directions, but to the same place.  
  
(best not to ask how this is done, this IS MarySue headquarters after all, plot holes abound)  
  
The place where all MarySues get their start, the SueSpa.  
  
For the rest of the morning and into the afternoon, the two girls were poked, primped and prodded into perfect Sue form.  
  
It was scary really, by the time they were led to their rooms neither one of them recognized themselves in the mirror and none of the changes were for the better as far as they were concerned.  
  
  
  
Jenna examined her reflection in the mirror; she'd looked like this once before.  
  
It had all been fun and games then, before she'd seen the delicate threads of a canonical universe torn apart. She stood there for a minute, pondering fate's strange sense of humor that she would be back to the one place she'd sworn never to set foot in again.  
  
Reaching out, she turned the mirror towards the wall, best not to think about that right now, right now she had to go get chocolate.  
  
  
  
Jenna tapped lightly on Anna's door "Anna, it's Jenna. I come bearing chocolate, can I come in?"  
  
There was a long pause before a voice came from inside. "That depends, how much chocolate do you have?"  
  
Jenna had to smile, she may look different, but it was still her Anna.  
  
"Enough for two teenage girls, an elf and a mazoku general."  
  
She could hear Anna laughing in spite of herself. "Did you perchance bring a mazoku general with you?"  
  
"If I say no, will you still let me in?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then no."  
  
The door opened and out popped the head of a very blond Anna. The two girls looked at each other for about a minute and then started cracking up.  
  
Several passing Sues gave them looks, not seeing anything funny. But people had given them the same look all the time back when they were in realty so they didn't even notice.  
  
Anna pulled Jenna in, closed the door and flopped down on the bed, still cracking up at the sight of her platinum blond friend.  
  
"So where's my chocolate?" Anna asked when she finally stopped laughing long enough to talk.  
  
Jenna brought out two cans of chocolate frosting and something that looked like crackers that Anna couldn't quite identify. She gave Jenna a questioning look.  
  
"Lembas." Jenna explained, "Don't ask me why but it goes great with chocolate frosting."  
  
She shrugged and sat down on the bed next to Anna, handing her the promised chocolate.  
  
They just sat there for a while, munching on chocolate and elven way bread in the comfortable silence that had settled between them, giggling every now and again at the sight of each other in SueState.  
  
Jenna yawned and curled her now taller than ever self up on the end of the bed.  
  
"You could have told me you know..." Anna said slowly, not wanting to break the silence but knowing she needed to.  
  
"And what was I supposed to say? 'Hi, my name is Jenna and I'm a MarySue?' Didn't think that would go over so well. Besides, I didn't want you to call the nice people in the white coats on me." Jenna replied softy.  
  
"Nah, I would never call them on you because they'd take me too." Anna smiled for a minute and then grew serious again;  
  
"All MarySues have a department, right?"  
  
"Right."  
  
"So what was yours?"  
  
Jenna paused before she answered, laughing to herself at the irony of it all "Lord of the Rings."  
  
"So...have you been to Middle Earth?"  
  
Jenna didn't say anything, but nodded. "Twice, but I've never met anyone, it was just to get used to teleporting and such."  
  
"Is it as beautiful as all the books say it is?"  
  
"Better."  
  
"Are you happy to be going back?"  
  
"No."  
  
Jenna's answer was firm and more then a little surprising.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because our being there takes away from it somehow...kinda like when you were little and Christmas presents were always better before you opened them. Does that make any sense?"  
  
It was Anna's turn to nod as she reached for their abandoned snack.  
  
"Lembas Miss Jenna? Don't ask my why but it goes great with chocolate frosting."  
  
Jenna looked at her companion and smiled, reminded once again of what a blessing her Anna was to her.  
  
"I've got a better idea," Jenna said, reaching into a bag she'd brought with her and pulling out two huge bottles of shampoo "this Sue color comes out in twenty-three washes, I suggest we get started."  
  
  
  
A/N: Will Jenna and Anna ever get the Sue color out? Will Jenna be forced into returning to Middle Earth as a MarySue? Will Anna go with her? Does chocolate frosting really taste good with Lembas? Tune in next time to find out! To all my loyal reviewers out there, expect your next chocolate supply to come via FedEx with two tickets to Middle Earth, please do not fangirl tackle the elves... 


	6. Mysterious Figure 1 and Inevitability's ...

-The MIA Chronicles-  
  
By: Violet Dawson  
  
A/N: Part of this chapter was inspired by a convo with GreyLadyBast, she's amazing ya'll, you really ought to talk to her!  
  
Reviewer's Notes:  
  
Batgirl_93041: Aren't mailing lists grand? I tend to think so. I'm sorry, you can't tackle the elves, Elrond gets upset and sends me hate mail if you do. Yes, you can tackle Gimli, I'll have him deliver your reviewer's chocolate if you like. Simply return him to Middle Earth in the postage paid envelope when you're done.  
  
Aradi: ::takes season passes to LizzieLand and hands back Lizzie's hamster:: Violet's sorry, she promises never to take your hamster again. Also, I know you like your elves better than Tolkien's so I'll try to find one to give you your chocolate as an apology. The best part? Non-Tolkien elves aren't canon, so you get to keep him!  
  
GreyLadyBast: You rock! I just wanted you to know, thanks again for being your creative wonderful self! And putting up with one sugar-high author. Certainly you can have some lembas to go with your chocolate, I'm sending extra for Hyacinth.  
  
Ihni: Don't ask what happened there, inspiration is a dangerous, dangerous thing. Now to your questions! (btw, I love your questions; they show you're really reading, it's great!) Lembas is elven way bread, it's what the fellowship lived on after they left Lorien and it goes quite well with chocolate. A mazoku general is a character from the Slayer's anime and the specific one I'm talking about has an annoying habit of saying "that is a secret" that's about all I know. For a better explanation, ask Anna. MarySues really are that horrible...just ask anyone who's ever been to the MIA and lived to tell about it. Or better yet you could ask the canons they stalk, either way. The tickets are first class, have fun and send me pictures!  
  
Addicted: Nope, you're not. Did you ever doubt that? (  
  
Starbrat: I only know of one, and he belongs to Anna so you'd have to ask her. If you can't have him, maybe she'd let you borrow him...  
  
  
  
Fifty-two escape plans, five escape attempts, seven days and twenty-three shampoos later Anna and Jenna were no closer to returning to reality or closer to reveling again in the glory that is natural brunette.  
  
It turned out the hair dye lied, and that it had no intention of leaving them any time soon.  
  
Not to mention that fact that the MIA didn't carry Midol (good Sues don't have PMS) and Jenna was dangerously close to running out of chocolate.  
  
In other words, it had not been a good week, scratch that, it had been a truly horrid week and things didn't look like they'd be getting better any time soon. Welcome to the MIA.  
  
  
  
Jenna tapped the desk with her pencil as she read over the next exam question:  
  
According to Section 89 Article 590 Paragraph C of the MIA training manual, a MarySue should never be without which of the following:  
  
A) A makeup kit with foundation, eye shadow, blush, mascara and lipstick in customized tints.  
  
B) An extra pure white dress that glitters like moonlight and hugs every curve.  
  
C) A map of her surroundings, extra food, hiking boots and a cellular phone, if permitted by the canon.  
  
D) Both A and B  
  
Jenna smirked, checked C and moved on, this was escape plan #53, flunk the final exam so they had to expel her and then send the SWAT team in for Anna. So far, so good, she'd managed to get every question wrong and yet somehow all her wrong answers seemed right...best not to ask. Next question:  
  
Which of the following actions is inappropriate and should be avoided at all costs:  
  
A) Ignoring or imprisoning all lesser canonicals or those that may present a threat.  
  
B) Out showing all canonicals in their areas of expertise. Especially for no apparent reason.  
  
C) Using provided neuralizer on target canonical if resistance is shown to attachment.  
  
D) Treating all canonicals with equal respect, fading into the background and allowing the canon to run itself.  
  
A, B, and C it was. Jenna checked them, gave one last smirk and handed the paper in to be graded, trying hard not the laugh at the look on the Celeste's face as she checked it.  
  
But Celeste was not to be outdone so easily, taking a black pen in hand; she carefully made check marks over each red slash that signified an incorrect answer.  
  
When she'd finished she glanced up at Jenna with a look that said something between 'don't mess with me' and 'why do you even try'.  
  
"Congratulations Miss Williams, you passed with flying colors. Please report to the wardrobe department immediately. Sue #3 will escort you, we'd hate for you to get lost."  
  
Sue #3 popped out of the woodwork, grabbed a stunned Jenna by the arm and half-drug her to wardrobe division. And all the way down the hall, Jenna swore that she could hear Celeste laughing like Cruella De Vile.  
  
  
  
Anna squirmed in her desk; five hours of MarySue orientation were not her idea of a good morning.  
  
She'd get up and walk out, but Sue #2 was standing in front of the door, neuralizer in hand. Sue #2 looked over at her and waved it menacingly.  
  
Anna looked down at the cover of the book on her desk. 'Defining Perfection: An Introduction to MarySue' was written on the front in shiny gold print.  
  
The speaker near the front of the room had been going on for what seemed like forever and showed no signs of stopping.  
  
Anna let her mind wander over to Jenna, who should be about halfway through escape plan #53. She remembered their last internet conversation about B's and wondered if she'd be able to do it, flunking things not being one of Jenna's strong points.  
  
Anna's head snapped to attention as someone kicked the back of her leg and passed her a note. She looked around for a minute before inconspicuously opening it.  
  
Define canon and pass it back.  
  
Canon, there was a word she hadn't heard in awhile, Anna quickly scribbled a reply and passed it back. It was soon given to her again.  
  
Knew you were different from the rest of these platinum blonds. Peroxide hasn't reached your brain yet; stick around after class, there's something you should know.  
  
Anna nodded and went back to acting like she cared about the speaker.  
  
  
  
"Ouch, I thought Sues were supposed to be perfect." Jenna snapped as she was pricked by yet another sewing pin.  
  
Fittings were not fun. Ticking off the Sue doing them was.  
  
The Sue groaned, this girl was wearing her semi-eternal patience quite thin.  
  
"If you would stay still, I wouldn't poke you." Said Sue #1 through clenched teeth, purposely poking Jenna again.  
  
It wasn't one of her better ideas. Jenna jumped off the stool she was being fitted on and started chasing the Sue out the room and threw the halls of the MIA in her half-finished dress, pins flying in every imaginable direction.  
  
More looks from passing Sues, more of Jenna not noticing.  
  
Nearer the end of a hallway, Jenna, not being entirely gifted in the coordination department ran smack into...something; it's kind of hard to tell while in the middle of blind rage.  
  
  
  
Class finally finished up about twenty minutes after Anna's note passing session and it took all her self-control not make a run for her room and the last of the chocolate frosting and lembas.  
  
The girl behind her walked around to the front of Anna's desk, tapped it twice and started to walk out. Anna stood up and followed her.  
  
They walked around for a while in silence, Anna was sure they were lost somewhere in the maze of hallways that made up the MIA's training center.  
  
They'd be found there some twenty years later, still walking around in silence, skinny but perfect MarySue skeletons, she was sure of it.  
  
She turned when she heard a noise behind them and jumped out of the way before Sue #1 ran her over in her attempt to get away from some lunatic in a half finished dress.  
  
As the second figure got closer Anna realized it wasn't just any lunatic, it was her lunatic and she was about to run into the person Anna had been following.  
  
Once inevitability kicks in, it's best just to sit back and watch the fireworks because you really can't do anything about it anyways, so Anna stepped closer to the wall and started to countdown. 5...4...3...2...1....  
  
There was a crash, several muffled curses and something that sounded like "ouch" coming from the mound of Sues on the ground.  
  
"Back off Sue," came the voice of the figure Anna had been following. (we'll call her Mysterious Figure #1, shall we?)  
  
"Hey, it's not MY fault you can't get out of inevitability's way" came Jenna's rather odd answer.  
  
It didn't make sense; again it's best not to ask.  
  
This conversation may have continued for quite sometime, with Mysterious Figure #1 trying to make sense of Jenna's replies, but Anna, seeing inevitability had had it's fun and moved on elsewhere, reached into the pile and pulled out her friend, leaving Mysterious Figure #1 to help herself up.  
  
"Good afternoon Miss Jenna, is there a reason you were chasing the nice MarySue in um...what exactly are you wearing?" Anna asked calmly.  
  
"She pricked me. It's a half of a dress meant to attract elven royalty." Jenna answered.  
  
Anna nodded as though this made perfect sense and turned to where Mysterious Figure #1 was attempting to stand up.  
  
"Now Miss...um I didn't quite catch your name."  
  
"Allyce" Mysterious Figure #1 (now known as Allyce) offered.  
  
"Right, Allyce. This isn't 'the Sue', this is Jenna and I'm sure she's very sorry for running you over and sticking you with straight pins. Aren't you Jenna dear?"  
  
Jenna nodded, Anna smiled, Allyce stared.  
  
"Right well, we need to get going, leave the Sue here." Allyce started walking away, fully expecting Anna to follow.  
  
  
  
A/N: Jenna the Sue? Still doesn't sound right to me, of course dancing purple elephants in sombreros do sound right to me so...::worlds sneakiest subject change:: All my loyal reviewers can expect their chocolate to arrive with a visit from the elf that lives in the shed behind my house ::cough::Legolas::cough:: no, you can't keep him, he's mine, I'm sorry. Chapter 7 coming up as soon as I have time. Time, why does college take so much of it? ::shrugs:: 


	7. Spafizzba and Lizzie Carlton

-The MIA Chronicles-  
  
By: Violet Dawson  
  
Reviewer's Notes...::hears sighs from the crowd:: oh come on! You know you love 'em!  
  
Aradi: Yes chocolate...and your elfie. All for your little lonesome, may I recommend making him wear blue? Thanks for all your help with this chapter! You rock!  
  
Camilla Sandman: Jenna the Sue brings back flashbacks? Is there something we need to know about? ;)  
  
Meoi Ishrow (aka Allyce): Funny shizzle? I don't know, but I know you and am therefore not even going to ask. See ya tomorrow!  
  
Addicted: What happened where? ::looks back at chapter 6:: Yup, it was basically Jenna graduating from the MIA's training program and the introduction of Allyce (Mysterious Figure #1) Still confused? IM or e-mail me!  
  
IthinkIneedanewname: Yes, MarySues are evil, let us set a mini balrog on them!  
  
Ihni: I don't do well with description, so I guess I tend to avoid it all together. But for you I'll try. Jenna is tall and thin with brown hair and brown eyes, but right now she looks like every other Sue. Does that help at all? I'll try to be more descriptive in the future.  
  
  
  
As Jenna watched the mysterious figure start down the hallway, she was suddenly struck with a sneaking suspicion. (say that one five times fast. hee hee)  
  
Being of a rather curious nature and realizing that the day couldn't possibly get much worse anyways, she decided to try out her theory.  
  
"Allyce Rusnak, just who are you calling a Sue?"  
  
The mysterious figure now known as Allyce turned slowly and Jenna had to try hard not to smile at the look on her face. She managed to get away with a small wave and a smirk that said 'I'd rather be laughing at you right now'.  
  
"Jenna? What are you doing here?" Allyce asked slowly.  
  
Jenna's smile quickly faded and a change of subject seemed to be in order. "Um...let's not talk about that right now...Allyce, this is the Anna I'm always talking about. Anna, this is Allyce, my friend with people in her head."  
  
Introductions and an effective change of subject successfully completed, surprise of all surprises, Jenna started talking again. "So where were you going before I made my less then graceful appearance?"  
  
Allyce opened her mouth to answer, thought better of it and started walking down the hallways again. Jenna grabbed Anna and followed, thinking her friend was acting rather out of character.  
  
  
  
"This meeting will now come to order." Announced a tall, gorgeous blond with a dizzying array of eye colors.  
  
Anywhere else, she would have stuck out like a celebrity actually shopping at Payless, but at the MIA she fit right in. The girl waited patiently as the collaboration of Sues settled down. Once the noise had settled to a mild roar, she continued;  
  
"Some of you may recognize me, but for those who don't, my name is Lizzie Carlton, head of SFISFB or students forced into sueism fight back."  
  
"Spafizzba?" Anna whispered, Jenna laughed and they both received a glare from Lizzie.  
  
"You have been brought here tonight for a spefic purpose, several Sues will be sent out within the next two weeks to actual canon universes. As you know, this is a very serious issue..."  
  
Lizzie stopped as she received two nods of agreement and a half a dozen blank stares.  
  
"You DO know what's going on here...right?" The stares got blanker.  
  
"MarySue...canon universes...MarySue in canon universes?" The stares continued to grow in their blankness and Lizzie just sighed.  
  
"OK, let me explain. All the MarySues that have gone out before have gone to a Suelike copy of the canon universe, not the actual one. It didn't matter what they did there, because they CREATED it, when they left it just disappeared, actually canon remaining unharmed. But now they've found a way into the actual canon universes. Understand now?"  
  
The blank stares became less blank and more heads began to nod. It was a wonderful thing, being able to make a dozen new blonds understand something. Oh no wait, here came a question...dang!  
  
"But what are we going to do about it?" Asked a stunning red head now and forever more known as Shannon Ripley. Ok, that wasn't really a question, she'd still made them understand, point for Lizzie!  
  
"We are going to do a number of things about it and here to talk about one of those is Ihni Winterwind."  
  
Up stepped yet another gorgeous Sue, there really was getting to be a good number of them around. This particular one with raven black hair that left no doubt how good it would look in moonlight and some unidentifiable eye color that could have been gray, but nothing on a Sue is ever described in one word, especially not a normal word such as "gray".  
  
Not wasting time with introductions, she picked up right where Lizzie had left off. "The first thing we need to do is identify which universes are to be targeted, so far we've found three...there may be more."  
  
Turning, she wrote on the board behind her:  
  
Slayers - Xelloss Metallium  
  
Digimon - Matt Ishida  
  
LOTR - Legolas Greenleaf  
  
Having finished the list of poor unfortunate canonicals, she stared down each Sue present. "Next comes the hard part...we've also got the list of Sues." Writing again, she added to her list:  
  
Slayers - Xelloss Metallium - Anna Donavan  
  
Digimon - Matt Ishida - Allyce Rusnak  
  
LOTR - Legolas Greenleaf - Jenna Williams  
  
Using their incredible Sue powers, the three girls mentioned decided it sounded like a good time to leave.  
  
  
  
A/N: Ok, so it's a little short, and a little late, but at least it's here! After much debate and much trail and error, I think I've finally figured out where I wanna go with this. Oh! And Miss Anna is going to do some writing! ::cheers for Anna:: I do believe you'll enjoy what she has to say, she having a much better way with words then I. But so yeah...enough with the rambling, that'll be a couple chapters off and I'll let you know. My loyal reviewers can expect to be rewarded with chocolate and the deed to the Godiva store nearest them, enjoy! 


	8. Anime Bishies and MarySue Operations

Author's Notes: This chapter was written through the many kind and patient efforts of Miss Anna. Without whom there would be no chapter and also no MIA.  
  
And now.reviewer's notes!  
  
Aradi: Two thumbs up and a stamp of approval! I'm doing good! Yea! Anyho, thank you much for the moosetracks, cookie and elf-on-lend.  
  
Battgirl: No worries, I dunna believe he is missed as of yet.much welcome for all the chocolate and such.thank you for the reviews!  
  
Starbrat: Whee! Action! Fun!  
  
GreyLadyBast: Thanks for the continued encouragement and reviews! It is appreciated!  
  
Ihni: Ok.Canon characters are those the belong in the original story (Legolas, Gimli and Aragorn are all LOTR canon characters) a canonical universe is the original place these canon characters live (Middle Earth is LOTR canon universe) canonical is just a broader term that can be used for either of those. Does that help? If not, e-mail me and I'll explain again.  
  
Soyotome: Welcome to the review board, I'm glad you like the story! Remember to pick up your reviewer's chocolate on the way out!  
  
-The MIA Chronicles-  
  
By: Violet Dawson  
  
Soon the three Sues-to-be were flopped down in chairs scattered around Allyce's room, having kicked off the clothes and other, less identifiable substances that had occupied them before.  
  
"It's not fair..." Jenna whined after awhile, breaking the silence.  
  
Anna sat for a minute, continuing to stare off into space. "It could be worse, I suppose..."  
  
Allyce looked from a sullen Anna to an equally sullen Jenna and back again. "What's wrong with you two? I get to make-out with Matt! Boo-yah!"  
  
Jenna groaned and turned toward Allyce, "You're not 'making-out' with anyone. Ever heard of protecting the canon?"  
  
Allyce glared at Jenna, wishing for once she would give in to the dark side. "You know Jenna, you are no fun. Making-out can be an enjoyable experience for all! Especially me!"  
  
Allyce gave one of those looks, you know, the kind that made Jenna turn many shades of red.  
  
"Right Allyce, and how exactly would you know wither or not it's an enjoyable experience?" She didn't really want to know the answer to that, and Allyce knew it, so she stayed quiet.  
  
'Bicker bicker bicker.' Anna mulled silently, brooding in her own little stew of thoughts.  
  
"Okay, listen up you two, that is enough! Number One: this is a MarySue operation, therefore it is bad. Number Two: It involves us becoming MarySues which is even worse!" Anna said, counting on her fingers as she went.  
  
Jenna shot Allyce a smug look of triumph as Anna stated her point of the argument exactly. "See! Anna agrees with me! Who would want some anime guy anyways?" Jenna said.  
  
Quickly realizing her error, she slapped a hand over her mouth, but alas, it was too late..the words had been spoken and there was nothing she could do but wait for the explosion. But, the explosion never came..  
  
"However..." Anna paused thoughtfully, ignoring the previous comment from Jenna and hoping that if she pretended she had never heard it, maybe Allyce would let it go too. Jenna could really be blond when she wanted to. "It involves me meeting Xelloss, automatically making the first two reasons void, therefore leading to the conclusion that we should go!"  
  
Now it was Allyce's turn to be smug as Jenna's jaw dropped.  
  
"Ha! See that Jenna!? I win!" Allyce grinned broadly as Anna simply smiled and nodded her agreement. Anime bishies were good.  
  
"Hey-" She paused and spun to face Jenna. "Did you just say 'some anime guy'??!"  
  
"Um...I wuv you! That's a good answer, I'm gonna stick with that one." Jenna replied, looking for a hiding place and cursing her internal blondness. Finding nothing that would hold off that wrath of an angry Allyce, she just sat there, realizing she was a deer in the preverbal headlights.  
  
With the amazing speed only possessed by a ticked off anime buff, Allyce crossed the room in 2.5 seconds and pounced on Jenna. Jenna managed to get out something to the extent of "You're right, bishies are good." As she was being knocked out of her chair and unto the floor.  
  
Her angered subsided for the time being, Allyce stood and extended a hand to her fallen friend. "Besides," Anna said, "you really can't talk, how many times have you watched Lord of the Rings?"  
  
Jenna wasn't sure she liked where this was going, but decided honesty was a better idea than getting on Anna's bad side. "Seven"  
  
Anna nodded as though her point had already been made, but continued for those of us who live outside her head. "And how many times did you watch it for the plot?"  
  
"Twice." Now Jenna was sure she didn't like where this was going.  
  
"mm hmm, and what did you watch it for the other five times?"  
  
"The amazing costume and set designs?"  
  
"Jenna?"  
  
"To compare and contrast differences between the movies and the books?"  
  
"Jenna!"  
  
"Fine, for the elves."  
  
Anna nodded; her point had been both proven and driven home with a sledge hammer. Point for Anna. "Now." she started again, quickly moving into sensible 'I don't want the Sues to kill me' mode, "I suggest we go see Celeste."  
  
"Celeste? Oh no no no no no! I don't like that woman at all. I don't wanna see Celeste, do you wanna see Celeste? Why would you wanna see Celeste? I really don't think we wanna."  
  
"Jenna dear, you're rambling."  
  
"Oh.sorry"  
  
And with no further discussion the three girls snuck out the window, over the balcony, a crossed the trellis, though another window and into Celeste's office.  
  
A/N: Sorry this is so short, but I just wanted to get something up for you all, I'll try to have a longer chapter up.when I can. Remember to pick up your chocolate and canonical of choice on your way out.the exit door can be found by pushing that nice blueish/purpleish/grayish button near the bottom left of your screen. 


	9. Fate's Bad Side and Elven Contacts

Author's notes: A lot of you said you don't really know about Digimon or Slayers, don't worry, I don't either! ;) If however, you would like pictures of Anna and Allyce's bishies sent to you so you know what they look like, drop me an e-mail and I'll send them to you. And guess what! They Soup Nazis are writing me into their fic! There's a link to it at the bottom of the chapter!  
  
Hey look! Reviewer's notes!  
  
Starbrat: That'd be Anna's Mazoku you're picturing covered in chocolate...be careful! Thanks for the continued reviews!  
  
CocoBeans: Welcome to the review board! I'm glad you like the fic!  
  
Ihni: I do take far too long between updates don't I? I shall try to be faster but no promises as college finals are coming up.  
  
Ithinkineedanewname: Glad the world makes sense again...rather annoying when it doesn't. ;) What will they do at Celeste's? I know! And soon you will too!  
  
The Soup Nazis: I'm IN your fic! I mean come on, how cool is that?!?  
  
Aradi: Moosetracks, yum! Elfie, also yum! What a wonderful present, thankies much!  
  
FireFall-Firemon-Link64e (aka Allyce): Anime guys are ok, elves are better! So there. :p But's it's all good this way because I don't have to share my elf. Are you ready for Anna to write you for awhile?  
  
Aynisha: Glad you're enjoying the story! Yes, elves are very good.  
  
  
  
-The MIA Chronicles- By: Violet Dawson  
  
"Ouch!"  
  
"Oof!"  
  
"Yeah, hi, that's me your sitting on."  
  
And a various assortment of other words that meant basically the same thing were coming from the ungraceful heap that Anna, Allyce and Jenna had landed in when they finally made it into Celeste's window. Obviously their Sue powers had yet to kick in.  
  
"Good evening ladies, I've been expecting you," Came a voice clear as tinkling bells though it had a slightly mocking tone to it. Enter Celeste Clearwater.  
  
Anna saw the wheels in Jenna's head turning and kept a hand on her shoulder as they untangled themselves, giving her the 'revenge is best served cold' look. Jenna nodded, but refused to give up the happy mental images of Celeste doused in lighter fluid and fed to a balrog. She really wasn't fond of the woman.  
  
Celeste, oblivious to the reason Jenna was smiling oddly at her, continued talking as if she were with a group of friends instead of three distressed teens. "We have a lot of work to do and very little time to do it in I'm afraid. I had a feeling things might not go smoothly once the students figured out who you were. But not to worry, I've taken the liberty of making arrangements for the three of you and you'll be in canon by tomorrow morning."  
  
Anna joined Jenna in her happy thoughts and, by the look on her face, Allyce would be enlisting in the 'I hate Celeste club' sooner than later. Opening the door, Celeste ushered in Sues 1, 2 and 3 and three very un- Suelike girls that Anna and Allyce didn't recognize.  
  
"May I present Mary, Cassie and Jan, the brilliant minds who created your plots!" Celeste announced excitedly.  
  
Jenna looked them up and down; they all looked basically the same, three short pimply-faced pre-teens with greasy black hair, cut into identical pixie styles. They're identity slowly seeped into her mind; they were MarySue authors.  
  
MarySue authors, the hormone over-run, canon-disregarding pre-teens who wrote the stories that the MIA used for their assignments. That could only mean one thing; Jenna thought logically, the world was ending.  
  
Each of the Authors was holding a thick manuscript with a three-sentence title on the first page. At a nod from Celeste, they walked up to Allyce, Anna and Jenna and handed each of them one of the stories with a reverence unknown to those who haven't written a sappy romance fic.  
  
"The Authors have been working tirelessly to create the perfect plots for you to enter. These scenarios have been tested to perfection, every line, every detail, every subtle bat of an eye has been written specially to correspond with the preferences of your target canonical. Each plot is a work of genius and WILL BE FOLLOWED TO THE LETTER. Any questions?" Celeste asked with her trademark smirk.  
  
The three girls shook their heads and said their prayers. Here they thought they'd be set loose in the canon (which was bad enough) but they were expected to follow a script? Written by a fangirl? What had they ever done to fate to deserve this? As if following some unknown script, a Sue walked up to each of the girls and neuralized them.  
  
  
  
... "It's not as bad as all that Miss Rusnak, now come and try in on and it'll all be over soon."  
  
"Then you put it on and I'll sit over there and tell you it's not so bad."  
  
"Now Miss Rusnak, be reasonable."  
  
"Allyce? Reasonable? Ha!"  
  
"Shut up Jenna."  
  
Anna's foggy mind started to register what was going on, but opening her eyes to confirm what she heard only provided her with a nice view of the purple elephants. This time they were in a conga line. Great.  
  
"Miss Donavan, good you're awake, step this way if you would." Came the all to familiar voice of Sue #2.  
  
Anna waved goodbye to her purple friends and tried to sit up and comply. The last thing she needed was to be neuralized again, purple elephants may be fun but she was pretty sure they weren't entirely healthy. Then again being a MarySue wasn't entirely healthy either. She was going to need major therapy when this was all over.  
  
"Allyce dear, just try it on then we'll go play with the nice weapons ok?" said Anna the voice of reason, now fully alert.  
  
Allyce looked from Sue #1, to Anna and then over to Jenna who was still cracking up. Grabbing the hanger and happily kicking Jenna on her way into the fitting room, Allyce complied.  
  
Anna patted herself on the back for getting Allyce into a dressing room, she took the hanger Sue #2 was holding out to her and walked into one of the small rooms herself. That left Jenna alone with the three Sues, never a good place to be.  
  
"Remember this?" grinned Sue #1 holding up the dress they'd been working on before Jenna most literally ran into Allyce.  
  
"What? No way, no how, nuh uh. I'm not getting back into that...that...that...thing!" Jenna yelled, but she already knew she'd lost.  
  
"Now Jenna, be reasonable." Allyce said through the door and Jenna could hear her smirk even though she couldn't see it. Sighing and resigning to the whims of fate, she snatched the hanger and joined her friends in the dressing rooms.  
  
Several minutes, sighs, mumbles and groans later Jenna had finally gotten into what would go down in history as the MarySue Monstrosity. Allyce and Anna were sitting in the wardrobe department waiting for her.  
  
Allyce, being somewhat closer to fate's good side then either of her friends was happily sitting in the corner in jeans and a black t-shirt. (The Sues had wisely dropped the idea of the pink dress they'd been trying to get her into) Anna didn't seem too unhappy in her Slayers canonical clothes either and was mumbling something about glomping Xelloss.  
  
Counting to three and ready to kick the first person that dared to laugh, Jenna opened the dressing room door. Now to their credit, her friends tried, they really did...for about five seconds.  
  
"You...look....ridiculous!" Allyce managed to get out between laughing spells.  
  
"Well, I'm sure that dress will attract something, definitely not Legolas, but something." Anna stated in what was supposed to be matter-of-fact tone then joined Allyce in her snickering fit.  
  
Jenna waddled over to Sue #3, taking a detour to kick the laughers on the way, and stuck a finger in her face. "I can't walk, I can't move, I can't even breathe! Could you please explain to me how exactly I'm supposed to hike a crossed Middle Earth in this thing?"  
  
That was all it took to send Anna and Allyce into another fit of giggles. Jenna would have gone over and kicked them again, but she seriously doubted she could walk that far, so she contented herself with grabbing a nearby shoe and throwing it in their general direction. She missed.  
  
  
  
Jenna didn't like the gleam she saw in Allyce's eyes as they walked into the weapons center; come to think of it she didn't like the gleam in Anna's eyes either. But she did like air, and now that she'd managed to work the Sues down to a skirt instead of that Valar-aweful thing she'd had on before, she could have some again. Yes, air really was a marvelous invention that you didn't think about until you couldn't have any for an extended period of time.  
  
"Jenna! Look at this!"  
  
Anna's voice broke through her thoughts just as she was about to write an air appreciation speech. Oh well, she could always write it later, maybe for Raimer's class. She looked over to where Anna happily held a long whip between her hands. If she had ever wondered about it, this proved her friends weren't the most normal people on earth. But she loved them anyways, which was a good thing because normal people scared her as almost as much as she scared them.  
  
"Don't touch that!" The panicked voice of Sue #1 cut off Jenna's thoughts of having normal friends once and for all.  
  
She looked up just in time to see Allyce reverently put down the biggest gun she'd even seen. While her friends nearly danced around the weapon center, she stood silently in the corner and watched. She was getting that sickening feeling in her stomach again and this time it wasn't from eating too much chocolate frosting.  
  
"Miss Williams, if you'll follow me, I'll give you what you need." Sue #3 didn't wait for an answer but started walking and Jenna had no choice but to follow. If she didn't know better, she'd swear the Sue had planned it that way.  
  
They stopped in front of a beautifully carved armoire and Sue #3 proudly flung open the doors. Inside, were a bow, arrows, sword and pack as well as some smaller things Jenna didn't recognize. All the weapons were horrible over-decorated and she guessed that any Middle Earth resident would take one look at them and fall into hysterics. But there was a bigger problem.  
  
"Um...yeah, slight problem."  
  
"Yes Miss Williams?"  
  
"I'm still mastering walking in a straight line and you expect me to be able to shoot that?" Jenna asked, pointing at the bow.  
  
"Oh! That's not a problem! You'll get full Sue powers when you enter the canon." The Sue laughed.  
  
Jenna nodded, said something along the lines of 'why didn't I think of that?' and listened as she was clued into what some of the less identifiable things were. "This goes behind your ear and enables you to understand what is being said, regardless of what language it's being said in. Oh, and swallow this."  
  
Jenna looked warily at the small pill in the Sue's hand. "It's the verbal component that links with the ear piece." Jenna nodded and took it from her. "Finally, this is your pager."  
  
"Pager? Doesn't canon mean anything to you people?" Jenna groaned.  
  
Ignoring Jenna completely, Sue #3 continued; "You'll be able to get in touch with Celeste or the agents in the field at any time." Jenna shut up as she realized this meant she could talk with Anna and Allyce. Glad for small blessings she listened to the noise around her. Little hums and squeals of delight proved that Allyce and Anna were also receiving their gear. And all the while the ache in Jenna's stomach grew.  
  
  
  
"I really wish you wouldn't do that because it makes me rather upset."  
  
"Yes, Allyce is right and I feel the same way."  
  
Or at least that was the meaning of what Anna and Allyce had been belting out since being sent to the SueSpa. Their versions made the Sues look like overdone lobsters. But at least counting the shades of red they were turning gave Jenna something to do while Sue #3 dyed her hair. Copper this time. Fun. Allyce had been given a highlighting treatment that left her with red streaks. Anna was still winning the battle against being recolored.  
  
"Done, now walk this way." Sue #3 announced proudly. These girls really needed a life outside the MIA.  
  
Next came drying, styling and a semi-permanent make-up job. Here Allyce broke the legal limit of four letter words in one sentence. Jenna was embarrassed, Anna was impressed. As finishing touch, Jenna got a pair of 'elven vision' contacts. Lucky Jenna. They actually did nothing to improve her sight and made her run into more then her normal quota of walls. She must be on fate's really bad list; there was just no other explaniation. There was a bright side though; things certainly couldn't get any worse. Oh wait...yes they could, here came Sue #3 with a neurliazer.  
  
A/N: Well what did you think? I for one am proud of the length of this chapter. But it took *forever and a day* to finish, oh well, it's here now. The next chapters will be the one on one accounts of each of our characters. Miss Anna will write her and Allyce's chapters and lucky you, you still get to read my writing through my chapters. My loyal reviewers can expect their chocolate to be delivered by snowman...seeing as I've gotten so much lately. Click this to be taken to a fic I'm in! http://fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1079409 


	10. Temptation and Hypothermia

Author's Notes: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I honestly never meant to take this long, really I didn't. But I'm quiet proud of this chapter, so I hope ya'll find it worth the wait. ( Also, many thanks and eternal gratitude go to DrewMarigold, who spent (most literally) hours on AIM with me, helping to keep the canons in canon. So if you see her around, be sure to let her know how much you appreciate what she did. DREW IS WONDERFUL!!!! OK, so now on to everyone's favorite part (yeah, right, sure...)  
  
::dun dun dun::  
  
THE REVIEWER'S NOTES:  
  
Batgirl-93041: Not to worry, it's one of those non-meltable snowmen and I'm very glad you're enjoying the story (even if it is taking me forever and a fuzzlemonkie to update).  
  
Aynisha: I'm glad I wasn't the only person impressed with the length! Jenna will put everything where all the other MarySue's put it (I could tell you where that is, but then I'd have to kill you and you're such a nice reviewer too...) She can't have a lightsaber because while the Sues don't care about the canon, Jenna does. And the elf should have brought you some chocolate for Christmas, if he didn't, well then there is a very happy chocolate eating elf somewhere.  
  
Ithinkineedanewname: Yes, they are in Middle Earth now. ( Elven contacts....very dangerous if you're not one for coordination. You are most welcome for the chocolate, thank you for the reviews.  
  
Snoa: Glad you like the writing!  
  
Firefall-Firemon-Link64e: A coupon and everything!? ::feels special:: Anyways, ask Miss Anna what kind of weapon you got, she knows better then I do. The moosetracks and pass to Middle Earth were much enjoyed and well used.  
  
Starbrat: Expect the unexpected.  
  
Europa: I'm glad you like the story, thanks for the e-mail and your appearance will be coming up before too long!  
  
Amers: Reviews are good.  
  
Aradi: If a snowman was on my doorstep trying to give me chocolate, I would take it and invite him inside to eat some, but that's just me. Sorry it's a little late for Christmas, but I managed to get you a Lizzie Elfy and even convinced him to wear the reindeer outfit. ::hands him to Lizzie::  
  
Young_little_Kitten: Anna and Allyce are both crazy and enjoy weapons. What happens to Anna, Allyce and Jenna? I guess you'll have to read to find out. (  
  
Lyrique: PURPLE ELEPAHANTS, they're a good thing!  
  
Melanie Sydney and Summer Sue: Midnight or after consuming much sugar is the best time to read *anything* I write. Makes the most sense because that's when the normal human comes closest to my kind of logic.  
  
DreamCatcher: The MIA is worse then most any school...besides for maybe OFUM?  
  
-The MIA Chronicles- By: Violet Dawson  
  
  
  
Jenna had been lying on her back for hours, staring at the ceiling and listening to the footsteps of Sue #3 outside her door. She couldn't be a normal guard and stand there, no, she had to pace. Stupid over-dramatic MarySue.  
  
Soon thoughts of MarySues changed into thoughts of Celeste and the conversation they'd had that afternoon. Well not really a conversation, more like Celeste blabbering at her and Jenna standing there having happy thoughts involving Celeste and the top of Orthanc.  
  
  
  
"Do you know how many girls would give up everything to be in your position? Can't you just give in and be happy to be on fate's good side?"  
  
Seeing that that approach hadn't gotten her anywhere, Jenna was still smiling strangely at her; Celeste tried something else.  
  
"The MIA could secure your future, perhaps a full scholarship to NTID?"  
  
The smile left and something like interest had taken its place. She regretted that now, she'd given Celeste an in and the woman had taken it like a purple elephant to moosetracks.  
  
"You'd like that, wouldn't you? You know there's no way you'll get in on your own and even if you could...well let's just say money talks. And what am I asking for in return? Only a little help."  
  
She'd paused to let it all sink in, watching Jenna closely, but she'd managed to regain her composure.  
  
"Believe me Miss Williams, it is much more profitable to be my friend then my enemy."  
  
  
  
And then the memory faded and Jenna was in her room again listening to the footsteps of the over-dramatic Sue.  
  
She wondered what Anna and Allyce were doing, most likely jumping up and down and shouting things like "we get to glomp the bishies." Not that she hadn't thought of that herself, hormones were a mystery known only to the teenage girls who held them, but she knew she couldn't.  
  
The canon needed to run itself. Still fangirlish tendencies ran deep, and she wondered if she'd be able to pull off the scheme that had been forming in her mind since she had come back to the MIA.  
  
Jenna guessed she should read through some of the script and see what she was up against. Stumbling around in the dark and somehow managing to bump into every piece of furniture in the room she finally found the light switch.  
  
All right now to find where she left the script. The garbage? Now how could it have gotten in there? Pulling it out of the can, she flipped to a random page and started reading; only to find out what she should have known all along...this was going to be a long mission.  
  
Now that she was assured the next year or so was really going to suck royally, Jenna turned the lights back off and laid down on the bed, hoping for sleep.  
  
  
  
"We're wasting away, Merry. Look, if I turn sideways, I disappear." Pippin complained, turning his side to Merry to prove his point.  
  
"Pippin, even my stomach is frozen stiff, how can you think of food when it's this cold?"  
  
Merry replied, glancing at his friend with a look that said food had crossed his own mind more times then he would admit. Pippin managed a half- frozen smile that disappeared as Merry fell into a drift of snow.  
  
"Hey, what's this?"  
  
Merry mumbled to himself, brushing snow out of his eyes and hair. He looked down at whatever it was, half buried in the drift.  
  
His eyes grew larger and he yelled, "Strider! Come quick! Someone's stuck in the snow! Pippin! Come help!"  
  
Staying on his knees, Merry started pushing snow away from the face of, whoever it was. He heard something to his right and looked up just long enough to see Pippin get down on his knees and start brushing snow off the figure's legs. Merry had finally uncovered enough of the figure's face to make out some of its finer details.  
  
"It's a girl and she looks...blue," He announced worriedly to everyone in hearing distance.  
  
He was so absorbed in the alarming sight before him that he didn't hear Aragorn as he knelt beside him in the snow, only taking notice when a pair of strong hands pulled him away from the figure in the snow.  
  
He watched from his new position as Gimli moved Pippin away in a similar manner, leading him over to Merry. The hobbits stood as together with concerned expressions on their normally carefree faces, watching Aragorn's inspection of their discovery.  
  
Strider moved with practiced ease; checking first for a pulse, then for breath or some other sort of movement. His face remained unreadable throughout the process and he stood before he turned to face the anxious hobbits.  
  
"She is too far gone, we have neither the time or the resources to waste. Merry, Pippin, I am sorry."  
  
All were silent as they absorbed the gravity of the situation.  
  
"She's alive and we're leaving her out in the cold? What if she wakes up?" Pippin asked quietly.  
  
"She will not wake up. We must leave now if we are to get off the mountain before nightfall." Aragorn answered, turning to continue on their path.  
  
"But what if she does?" Merry asked, turning to Gandalf for an answer. "She will not wake up." Gandalf echoed Aragorn, silently relived to be leaving the mountain without the girl. There was something not right about her, even in this unconscious and helpless state.  
  
Sam, who had been quiet since the incident began, spoke up. "Wasn't it you, Mr. Gandalf who said that we didn't have the right to be passing judgment on who lives and dies? Seems to me like we're doing a bit of judgment passing here."  
  
Having spoken his peace, Sam shoved his hands in his pockets and walked back to stand beside Frodo, looking shyly at the ground.  
  
Gandalf sighed, of all the things he'd ever said to the hobbits that would be the one they'd remember. They were right though, to leave the girl there would be passing out a death sentence, one they didn't have the right to give.  
  
Gandalf nodded to Aragorn, "Bring her with us. We cannot in good conscience leave her here, at the mercy of the elements and fell creatures that pursue us. Once she is able to answer our questions, we will decide how to proceed."  
  
  
  
A/N's: Alrighty so that's that. How do you think I did with the canon? I promise to try not to take so long to update next time. (keyword being *try*) Oh yes, and if you're wondering where Anna and Allyce have gone, well remember when I said that Miss Anna would be doing some co-authoring? That starts now. So she's handling her and Allyce for awhile. Reviewers chocolate and an apology card for the lack of updates will be sent to you via airmail along with a ticket to go see TTT (again). ( 


	11. Shiny Weapons and Things That Go Sploosh

~The MIA Chronicles~ By: Violet Dawson and Lady Eternal Cosmos Illusion  
  
A/N (Violet): Hey ya'll...what do you know? We're alive! Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry for the lack of updates....taking 12 credits at college this semester and that leaves very little time for writing. ::sigh:: Incase you didn't notice, this story is now officially co-authored by Miss Leci. Many thanks and much chocolate go to her for all the help!! Anyways...on to reviewer's notes:  
  
SacredGoggles: Hm...interesting name you've got there, kinda like it though...yes, you can still get tickets to Middle Earth, I'll send them via elf-mail tomorrow so you can have them for next weekend. (  
  
Philippa: You sound like me with the exams! Yes, the system is *supposed* to work that way...unfortunately time doesn't seem to want to cooperate lately.  
  
Europa: ::breathes a sigh of relief:: oh I'm so glad you thought the canons were in canon! I was really worried about that, so thanks for the vote of confidence. ( ::nods at the comment about G and A::  
  
ElvenPickle: *two* reviews!! ::feels very loved:: thanks for letting me know how you liked the revisions! You're reviewer's chocolate should be at your front door ASAP. Thanks again!  
  
DreamCatcher: Sugar *and* late at night! MIA at it's best!  
  
Lyrique: Sorry about the lack of updates...::points to her threateningly raised fist:: please don't feel the need to use that...  
  
Melanie Sydney and Summer Sue: Thanks for the review, and I'd love to know the story behind your name...  
  
Rahenian Gypsy: Lizzie! ::pounce:: I miss you!  
  
Firefall_Firemon_link64e (ie Allyce): no, it's not Matt and no it did not take me three years, maybe close, but not three years...call me soon, we have to go ice skating!  
  
Batgirl-93041: When my neighbors came back from Christmas vacation, guess what they brought my mom? The Florida Snowman! Lol, I started bursting out laughing and nobody knew why, but so yeah, not only do I know about them, we now own one!  
  
Larkalinque: "Ridiculously funny" Yay! ::is glad you like the story:: Yes, they'll fight the plots with all their strength, and then some. (  
  
Eve of Mirkwood: Thanks for letting me know you liked how the canon turned out and thanks for sticking with the story, I'm so glad you like it!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
It was a lovely day to be out with Mother Nature. The sun shone brightly, it's rays casting warmth on all they touched, and the birds sang merrily, as if they had not a care in the world...it was the most annoying thing Anna had the displeasure of experiencing...ever.  
  
"Ow...my aching head..." She muttered numbly as she struggled to sit up. MarySues were bad enough on their own, but throw neuralizers into the equation and you have hell in high heels.  
  
"Yo, Anna..." Anna could hear Allyce's voice calling to her from nearby...she could also feel a dull poking sensation, not unlike a stick... "Are you okay?"  
  
"Allyce Rusnak, by L-Sama, if you poke me with that stick one more time, I'll make sure it becomes a permanent part of your anatomy." Allyce grinned broadly. Yep, Anna was fine, so Allyce turned to investigate the mysterious baby blue bags that she had discovered next to her when she awoke.  
  
"Uh, Allyce...why can't I see you?"  
  
Without looking up from the parcel she was dissecting, Allyce called back "Try opening your eyes...Ooh! Weapons! Shiny, big, *sharp* weapons..."  
  
As she slowly tried to regain control over various unfeeling body parts, Anna's eyes flickered open. Bad move, Miss Anna, bad move.  
  
"My eyes!" Anna screamed, quickly attempting to hide them from the glare of the sun with her hands. "The light, it burns!" She could hear Allyce snickering madly.  
  
"Oh yeah, did I forget to mention it's bright out? Silly me...What was I thinking?" The red highlighted girl cackled.  
  
"Shut up, Rusnak." Came the bitter reply. "You are *so* on my 'People to Throttle when I'm No Longer Blind and in Varying Degrees of Pain' list."  
  
"Riiiight..." Allyce snorted, returning to her rather enjoyable task of taking things out of bag and strewing them about the nearby ground like a curious and slightly insane raccoon. "Hey! Come check this stuff out!"  
  
Anna blinked. She actually kind of wished she could see the Purple Elephants again...it would have been a heck of a lot better than all the light spots that were clouding her view right now.  
  
"We have stuff?" Anna shrugged and cautiously made her way over to her companion, which was no easy task considering her legs seemed to be in a state of hibernation and those pins and needles which seem to be ever-so- famous with asleep limbs had attacked with a vengeance...ow...ow...ow...ow...  
  
"What do we got?" She asked, peering over Allyce's shoulder to get a look at the goods, which wasn't too hard considering how short Allyce was. "Is that an Uzi I see?"  
  
"Yup yup!" Nodding with an air of expertise unique only to herself, Allyce began to point out and identify by proper name, every single weapon she had uncovered.  
  
"What we have here is your casual block of C4 plastic explosive," She declared, pointing to what looked like a little block of play-doh. "Over there are the semi-auto Uzi handguns, then your run-of-the-mill bazooka and grenade launcher, .34 caliber pistols, semi-auto rifle with silencer *and* scope, and enough ammo to thin out the entire population by one half!" She grinned wolfishly, the look of the huntress gleaming in her eyes, and by any normal person's standards, it was most unsettling. Hell, it was downright scary. Anna, however, not being anywhere near normal herself, didn't even notice.  
  
"Spiffy. I assume that bag would be yours then?" She pointed to the one Allyce had removed all the nifty objects from.  
  
"Yup...and I also found this little box of sticks...and this round, hard thing that makes a splooshy noise when ya shake it..." She held it up a shook it for effect. And, wonder of all wonders, it went sploosh.  
  
Enter Anna and the classic anime face fault. "Uh...Allyce..." She sighed as she pointed to the bottle. "That's a canteen...and that little box of sticks you've got? Yeah, those are matches."  
  
"Oh." Came the simple reply. "Now it makes sense...sort of...."  
  
Anna smacked her palm against her forehead and shook her head. "Dear L- Sama," She groaned. "This is going to be a long day." Too bad Anna and Allyce had no idea that this was just the beginning of a series of very, *very* long days....  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Celeste Clearwater, meanwhile, sat primly at her desk, the perfect vision of the perfect Sue. Her long, elegant fingers drummed the desk impatiently, her cold glare scanning the room aimlessly. It was just then that a soft, polite knock came at the office door.  
  
"You may come in." Celeste called dismissively, and watched as Sue # 2 slipped through and stood before her desk.  
  
"Miss Donavan and Miss Rusnak have been successfully inserted into the Anime Universe, Ms. Clearwater." Sue # 2 quivered. "They have been given their equipment and their scripts."  
  
"Excellent..." Celeste replied. "Yes, that will do nicely." She stared at Sue # 2 with distinct irritation as she continued to stand there, saying nothing. "Well...you are free to go." She tented her fingers, and tapped them thoughtfully against her chin as her underling skittered out of the room silently. Once alone, Celeste giggled deviously. "Welcome to the MIA, Miss Donavan...Miss Rusnak...." She smiled sinisterly, a dangerous glint now present in her gaze. "Welcome to the MIA...."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Author's Notes (Leci):  
  
Ta da! Yes, Leci *is* alive, and here is her very first installment of the MIA! Yes, this chapter seems rather pointless and very short by my standards, but I was short on time and needed to get at least something posted. Sorry about the absolutely *huge* span of time between the updates, but both Violet and I have been extremely busy. We love you all; really we do, so just to prove it, we're shipping out double the Godiva chocolate with your choice of the individual delivering it! Another thing: Reviews would be especially appreciated now, because Violet dear's writing technique is quite different from my own, and I would really like to know what you think I need to work on in order to make the next few chapters of the MIA flow smoothly. Thanks much!  
  
*~*Leci*~* 


	12. When times get tough the tough call Anna

AUTHOR'S NOTE (Yes, I hate these as much as you do)  
  
Well I almost gave this up today. I had the closing notice written and everything, nearly ready to post it. But then along comes my Anna and know what she tells me?  
  
"You know what I do when I miss you? I think about our MIA project, and how cool it is. I love it, b/c I know that I'm not doing it alone, I'm writing something that is fun with someone I adore. It's like one big inside joke between us, and we're sharing it with others and it's a great feeling when it makes them happy."  
  
And I realize that I can't give this story up, it's my gift to my very best friend and I mean come on, what kind of friend would I be if I took back a present? So no worries, the MIA will be finished, no promises as to when, but it will be finished. And Anna, you have it in writing now, just like the Christmas letter promise you gave me ;), the MIA will be finished.  
  
Not even quite sure why I'm posting this note, maybe to let everyone know that no, we haven't all died, or maybe to say thanks to my best friend for all of her encouragement. So, the remainder of this story is once again dedicated to my Anna, may you know that your friendship means the world to me.  
  
Thanks also goes to Miss Drew, who offered to pick up the slack so the agency wouldn't die, may you eventually forgive your friend. (After all, I *am* only human.)  
  
Love and chocolate to everyone who's expressed interest in the agency, Violet Dawson 


	13. Pointy Hats and In Head Conversation

Author's Notes: I'm Baaaaaaaaaacccck! Eesh! Only what? Forever and a day? ::blushes:: so sorry guys, I just. couldn't find anything to write for the longest time, and I'm still not happy with this chapter, but I just needed to get writing again. A special thanks goes out to everyone who was so encouraging during my down time and too Miss Anna, who continued to kick me in the butt (it's still sore, in case you were wondering -_-) I love you! Mwah!  
  
"Come now Miss Williams, a dramatic entrance is one thing but you're bordering on exasperating, time to get up."  
  
"Celeste? What are you doing here....wherever here is?"  
  
"Miss Williams, didn't you read the script?"  
  
"Um... yes?"  
  
"Miss Williams..."  
  
"Oh, that'd be a no.... Doesn't look like canon though, it's just, dark."  
  
"That's because you're not awake yet Miss Williams."  
  
"Oh... then... you're /in my head/???"  
  
"Correct Miss Williams, doesn't you remember learning about this during the classes you weren't paying attention in?"  
  
"Self. Explanatory. Answer."  
  
"Quite. Now pay attention, as soon as we're done here you're going to wake up - play the sympathy card while you tell your story, but don't speak too soon, you want them to think you're really frozen."  
  
"Celeste, I /am/ really frozen."  
  
"Oh, that's right, you're on reality detainment until further notice."  
  
"Reality...Now Celeste that's just not nice."  
  
"Neither was leaving the agency and making us come find you. But the past is behind us and we have only the future to make up for it. Now, pretend I'm the Fellowship and convince me of who you are."  
  
"Right...Hello! My name is Jenna Williams and I'm a 17 year old MarySue sent by the evil dictator Celeste to destroy all that is canon and-"  
  
"Amusing Miss Williams, quite amusing, now, do it right."  
  
"Hello, my name is MarySue and I'm an imposter sent by the agency to corrupt the minds of the males of Middle Earth. So, please, do yourself a favor and shoot me now-"  
  
"Miss Williams /why/ must you be so difficult?"  
  
"Hm....because you're just that fun to annoy?"  
  
"It seems we have run out of time prematurely, so you shall simply have to follow my lead. And you /will/ follow my lead, is that clear?"  
  
"Don't I always?"  
  
"No. Now get ready, here you go..."  
  
"Strider? Strider! She's waking up!"  
  
Jenna whimpered as the full force of reality hit her like.... ok, so there wasn't really an allegory bad enough to fit the description of how exactly it felt to wake up soaking wet on a mountain in knee-deep snow. Panic set in as she realized she couldn't feel her legs, or her arms and she silently pleaded with God to let them still be attached.  
  
Footsteps crunched their way through the deep snow and then there was the sound of someone kneeling down next to her, a set of firm hands moved her into sitting position.  
  
"You are safe for the moment and will warm soon. Drink." Came a strong voice as a mug was held to her lips.  
  
Safe in the knowledge that the canon wouldn't have a reason to want her dead yet, she allowed the warm liquid to fill her mouth. It took a minute for her taste buds to tell her brain that this was definitely not something she wanted to swallow and even longer for her brain to send the 'then spit it back out, dummy' message back down to her mouth. The reaction was fast enough, though, and choking the offensive liquid out onto the snow completed her journey to consciousness in short order.  
  
"What-" she started to demand, only to have the mug pressed up against her lips again.  
  
"Drink." The voice left no room for argument this time and Jenna obediently forced herself to swallow the spiteful fluid before slowly daring to open her eyes to see who exactly she was dealing with.  
  
Dark hair spilled out from under a worn hood to veil deep grey eyes that watched her with blatant mistrust. Oh, isn't this trip going to be fun? she sighed to herself as she narrowed down the options in her head:  
  
'He looks too old to be an elf, so definitely not Legolas. Gandalf maybe? Hm, nope, no great pointy hat..... have to remember to borrow that before I leave..... Ok Jenna, stay on track, he's one of the men then, and not a lick of Gondorian clothing. ah. hello Aragorn.'  
  
Funny how playing a little game of 'guess the canon' could make someone forget that she was still drinking mouth murder, Jenna realized with a start as the cup was withdrawn and another layer was wrapped around her shoulders.  
  
"Take a minute to regain yourself, and then we require some answers of you." The man now known as Aragorn explained simply before he stood and walked to the other side of the fire, head bent closely in council with Gandalf.  
  
And all Jenna could think was 'Oh...crap."  
  
TBC... 


	14. Finally and Back

Author's Notes: I'm Baaaaaaaaaacccck! Eesh! Only what? Forever and a day::blushes: so sorry guys, I just… couldn't find anything to write for the longest time, and I'm still not happy with this chapter, but I just needed to get writing again. A special thanks goes out to everyone who was so encouraging during my down time and too Miss Anna, who continued to kick me in the butt (it's still sore, in case you were wondering --) I love you! Mwah!

"Come now Miss Williams, a dramatic entrance is one thing but you're bordering on exasperating, time to get up."

"Celeste? What are you doing here...wherever here is?"

"Miss Williams, didn't you read the script?"

"Um... yes?"

"Miss Williams..."

"Oh, that'd be a no... Doesn't look like canon though, it's just, dark."

"That's because you're not awake yet Miss Williams."

"Oh... then... you're /in my head?"

"Correct Miss Williams, doesn't you remember learning about this during the classes you weren't paying attention in?"

"Self. Explanatory. Answer."

"Quite. Now pay attention, as soon as we're done here you're going to wake up - play the sympathy card while you tell your story, but don't speak too soon, you want them to think you're really frozen."

"Celeste, I /am/ really frozen."

"Oh, that's right, you're on reality detainment until further notice."

"Reality………Now Celeste that's just not nice."

"Neither was leaving the agency and making us come find you. But the past is behind us and we have only the future to make up for it. Now, pretend I'm the Fellowship and convince me of who you are."

"Right………Hello! My name is Jenna Williams and I'm a 17 year old MarySue sent by the evil dictator Celeste to destroy all that is canon and-"

"Amusing Miss Williams, quite amusing, now, do it right."

"Hello, my name is MarySue and I'm an imposter sent by the agency to corrupt the minds of the males of Middle Earth. So, please, do yourself a favor and shoot me now-"

"Miss Williams /why/ must you be so difficult?"

"Hm……..because you're just that fun to annoy?"

"It seems we have run out of time prematurely, so you shall simply have to follow my lead. And you /will/ follow my lead, is that clear?"

"Don't I always?"

"No. Now get ready, here you go………"

"Strider? Strider! She's waking up!"

Jenna whimpered as the full force of reality hit her like…….. ok, so there wasn't really an allegory bad enough to fit the description of how exactly it felt to wake up soaking wet on a mountain in knee-deep snow. Panic set in as she realized she couldn't feel her legs, or her arms and she silently pleaded with God to let them still be attached.

Footsteps crunched their way through the deep snow and then there was the sound of someone kneeling down next to her, a set of firm hands moved her into sitting position.

"You are safe for the moment and will warm soon. Drink." Came a strong voice as a mug was held to her lips.

Safe in the knowledge that the canon wouldn't have a reason to want her dead yet, she allowed the warm liquid to fill her mouth. It took a minute for her taste buds to tell her brain that this was definitely not something she wanted to swallow and even longer for her brain to send the 'then spit it back out, dummy' message back down to her mouth. The reaction was fast enough, though, and choking the offensive liquid out onto the snow completed her journey to consciousness in short order.

"What-" she started to demand, only to have the mug pressed up against her lips again.

"Drink." The voice left no room for argument this time and Jenna obediently forced herself to swallow the spiteful fluid before slowly daring to open her eyes to see who exactly she was dealing with.

Dark hair spilled out from under a worn hood to veil deep grey eyes that watched her with blatant mistrust. _Oh, isn't this trip going to be fun?_ she sighed to herself as she narrowed down the options in her head:

'_He looks too old to be an elf, so definitely not Legolas. Gandalf maybe? Hm, nope, no great pointy hat……... have to remember to borrow that before I leave……... Ok Jenna, stay on track, he's one of the men then, and not a lick of Gondorian clothing… ah… hello Aragorn.'_

Funny how playing a little game of 'guess the canon' could make someone forget that she was still drinking mouth murder, Jenna realized with a start as the cup was withdrawn and another layer was wrapped around her shoulders.

"Take a minute to regain yourself, and then we require some answers of you." The man now known as Aragorn explained simply before he stood and walked to the other side of the fire, head bent closely in council with Gandalf.

And all Jenna could think was 'Oh………crap."

TBC………


End file.
